Our new writer, Edwin Phillips reads three confusing press releases from politicians of different parties in charge of education in Wales.
Secretary for Education: Kirsty Williams former leader of Welsh Liberal Democrats.
We WILL improve standards for Welsh school pupils.
We WILL reduce apprenticeship places, and thereby achieve increased funding for sixth form pupils.
We WILL concentrate on teaching bright students, to boost results measured by the international PISA results.
We WILL ensure that inspections conducted by ‘Estyn’ showcase the innovative work in schools.
The ‘Welsh Baccalaureate’ WILL be promoted as a supplementary qualification for students who go to university.
We WILL increase spending on teacher training and encourage children to move on to English universities.
We WILL not bang on about Merthyr Tydfil being the birth place of parliamentary socialism.
We WILL not always emphasise that Swansea is a cradle of workers’ rights.
Deputy Minister for Skills and Technology: Julie James of Welsh Labour.
We will NOT strive to improve standards for Welsh school pupils, as this puts too much pressure on children and teachers.
We will INCREASE apprenticeship places, and achieve this by CUTTING funding for sixth form pupils.
We will NOT concentrate on teaching bright students, because results measured by the international PISA results are flawed.
We will ABANDON inspections by ‘Estyn’ which are meant to showcase innovative work in schools, but in fact create too much stress for children and teachers.
We will ABANDON the so-called ‘Welsh Baccalaureate’ as universities have indicated to us it is completely worthless.
We will CUT spending on teacher training and re-direct these funds into schools, for children to move on to WELSH universities.
We will CELEBRATE the fact Merthyr Tydfil is the birth place of parliamentary socialism.
We will EMPHASISE that Swansea is a cradle of workers’ rights.
Minister for Lifelong Learning and Welsh Language: Alun Davies of Welsh Labour.
I will ensure our messages are clear and consistent.
I will ensure key partners in Welsh education work together.
I will ensure nothing in education spending is cut.
Inspections by ‘Estyn’ place added pressure on children as well as teachers, and they will be increased.
The ‘Welsh Baccalaureate’ is known to be completely worthless and not accepted by many English universities, and its use will also be increased.
Teacher training spending will be reduced and children will be encouraged to move on to all universities.
THE END – OF EVERYTHING
Tomorrow on The Eye – why people are desperately trying to get EU funding for their project in Wales, after the Brexit vote on Thursday.