Swansea university say we are 'vexatious' for requesting information

Nice work if you can get it

After new revelations by The Eye this week of growing controversies at scandal-hit Swansea university, Edwin Phillips sits in on an angry meeting between the Vice Chancellor Richard Davies (VC) and his pro Vice-Chancellor Hilary Lappin-Scott (HLS), in overall charge of the university’s contentious School of Management.

Hilary likes to Tweet about being at places in the sun or at science festivals

Hilary likes to Tweet about being at places in the sun or at science festivals

VC: I have heard reports that your Twitter messages are making us a laughing stock, Hilary.

HLS: (Firmly) I strongly refute that, Richard.

My messages are informative and bring me closer to all my loyal followers.

VC: How ridiculous.

Those and your emails to staff make it sound as though you perceive yourself as leader of a new religious group.

HLS: I do not see it like that.

Perhaps I should have said that my messages bring me closer to my people.

VC: That sounds even worse.

After all that fuss over the School of Management, this is the last thing we need.

We have already been in the headlines about that Piercy business, and Chan being appointed, which upset the staff so much – thank God he is working for someone else now.

(To self) that dreadful website The Eye are the worst of the lot – they’ve been all over us for years.

It’s a huge relief to us all no-one else has cottoned on!

Even so I can see my knighthood going down the tube…

(Louder) although you are a senior pro Vice-Chancellor, do you really think that describing things on Twitter as “fab”, “ace” and “brill” is a vocabulary in keeping with the intellectual rigour that should attach to your position?

Swansea university logo

And talking of rigour, do you seriously believe that by posting tweets of sunrises in various parts of the world enhances the public’s perception of the intellectual powerhouse that is Swansea university?

A light is shone on the professor's foreign travels

A light is shone on the professor’s foreign travels

HLS: (Raises her voice) What you don’t seem to appreciate, Richard, is that my tweets are important.

They aren’t simply fodder for the masses, but let them know of my latest trips abroad and appointments.

People need to know that this year alone I have, for example, already visited Australia, America, Canada, England, and Greece.

If they had not heard from me they would naturally have become concerned.

As an example of my tweets being informative, consider the informational content of my message about being stopped three times for passport checks at Schiphol Airport in Holland.

(To self) or is it the Netherlands?

Never mind.

(Coughs) If I had not tweeted this information, families travelling through the airport would have been delayed because of these security checks and it would, no doubt, have ruined their holidays.

Consider also, the inconvenience and frustration for those travelling to Amsterdam for well-known activities.

 

Hilary likes to tweet about drum rolls

Hilary likes to tweet about drum rolls

Hilary and her friend Alison Wride dine together and enjoy the view

Hilary and her friend Alison Wride dine together and enjoy the view

Even worse, it would have a negative and stressful impact on important academics like myself who may have to wait in line (I can speak from experience).

Don’t forget too I also tweet when I go to conferences

VC: Yes, I have heard about that.

But scribbling one or two trivial tweets on a particular conference session hardly qualifies as a meaningful commentary.

(Head is scratched) it’s bad enough that we had all those awful stories about the management school and the senior people we have had – now this.

HLS: (Seeming not to hear) I am afraid that you have again missed the point, Richard.

It is important that I tweet from conferences to show that I am there and to bring world-wide attention to the conference by my attendance.

Hilary has seen the bright lights of Hong Kong on her travels

Hilary has seen the bright lights of Hong Kong on her travels

And before you bring up the issue raised by The Eye, that all the talks I delivered in Australia were the same, I wish to make it clear that, as a fashion icon, I chose different designer outfits for different locations.

VC: I give up.

Where is my P45?

HLS: Now we’re talking.

But before you go, what’s the Welsh for ‘I would like to apply’?

Do you mind if I put this meeting on Twitter?