More Labour pains

Putting a Labour rosette on a donkey in the Valleys, no longer does it…

After Labour’s manifesto pledging to re-nationalise the railways, Royal Mail, and promising state control of energy was leaked to the media, and Welsh Labour were accused of “airbrushing” their UK leader Jeremy Corbyn out of the election Edwin Phillips is with two Labour activists in Wales (A1 and A2) bemoaning the state of their campaign.

A1: (Gloomily) we’ve had it.

A2:  (Irritated) yes don’t go on.

It’s bad enough knocking on doors with people saying we have to get rid of that bearded lefty (Jeremy Corbyn) without you going on!

A1:  That’s another thing I have had enough of.

Tom Watson points the finger at his own leader

All those people saying they won’t vote for us while he is in charge.

Did you see in The Sunday Times yesterday he was arrested in 1986 taking part in a protest by IRA sympathisers to “show solidarity” with accused terrorists including the Brighton bomber?

You couldn’t make it up!

His deputy (Tom Watson) coming to Welsh marginals on Friday didn’t do any good either.

Everyone knew he had told Corbyn to “deal with” Momentum (left wing supporters of Jeremy Corbyn).

The politics of protest are the Labour leader’s

But at least he realises what is going to happen.

He said:  “It is going be very, very difficult to turn the poll numbers around…”

That poll in the Observer gave the Tories a 15 point lead, which would give them a majority of about 100.

Another one yesterday put them on 147 seats over us.

And we’ve only got four weeks to go!

A2: (Grudgingly) I know.

(Staring at ground) those local election disasters are a sign of the future.

We even lost Merthyr and Blaenau Gwent.

But (more brightly) we are quite right to try and carve out our identity as ‘Welsh Labour’ to differentiate us from that lot in London.

A1:  (Gloomily again) we both know that is nonsense.

Everyone will be voting (or more likely not voting) for Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour on June 8.

It won’t be Carwyn Jones’ (Welsh First Minister) Labour!

Jeremy was not amused by leak of the manifesto

It’s all a gift for that Plaid woman (Plaid Cymru leader Leanne Wood asked in the assembly if Carwyn Jones would take the blame if Labour lost many of the 40 Welsh MPs).

At a UK level it is chaos too.

The media say we are in “turmoil” and there is a “revolt” in the party.

Loads of our candidates will have nothing to do with that manifesto – which those reptiles in the Murdoch press say gives the biggest state intervention in the economy for 40 years!

There will be an “amended” version for us in Wales, apparently.

How ridiculous.

The voters will see right through that.

Len McCluskey – Labour’s fall guy

(Angrily) this whole thing is like watching a car crash in slow motion.

Speaking of car crashes – the car taking the bearded lefty to a party meeting ran over the foot of a BBC cameraman.

That ridiculous Len McCluskey (General Secretary of UNITE union and close ally of Jeremy Corbyn) fell down the stairs as he left our manifesto meeting!

It could only happen to us…

A2:  (Sighs) we have to do something.

At least we are doing our own “distinct manifesto” in Wales – it won’t just be ‘amended’.

Those idiots in the Welsh media bought it too.

“Building on the ‘five pledges’ for Wales” and all that rubbish.

Labour put their foot in it…

A1: (Aggressively now) yeah right.

They are already doing a comparison with the 1983 manifesto which was called “the longest suicide note in history”.

Did you read about that media commentator who said it was quite unfair to compare it to that manifesto?

The 1983 one was much better…

A2: (Quietly) we’re going to commit suicide too on June 8.

Tomorrow the Jeremy Corbyn supporter in Wales with a record of armed bank robbery, who is organising media events for him. 




Posted in Controversy, Edwin Phillips, Labour, Media, Plaid Cymru, Politics, satire, Welsh Labour and tagged , .